A different approach to sex – it’s not about the outcome…
Sex is so often approached from a goal-oriented perspective: ‘I want penetration’, ‘I want to last longer’, ‘I want to perform better’… the list of goals we set ourselves can be endless, and often based on what we think is expected of us.
But focussing only on the outcome means it’s easy to overlook all the elements which enable you to get there.
Plus, here’s a crazy thought: what if there are actually other outcomes besides the one you thought was expected?
What if being cuddled actually feels more fulfilling to you than penetration? What if lasting longer means redefining orgasm in your body, rather than trying to delay climax in your genitals?
Mindful sex and intimacy coaching involves learning to slow things down, discover or create new perspectives, and re-wire your brain and body so that your journey takes on just as much importance as the destination.
Shifting the focus so what you’re choosing, moment to moment, becomes more important than what you do, means you can choose whatever you want. And when you can do that… anything is possible!
The mindful sex and intimacy coaching I offer is built on 3 core principles:
These simple principles are ones you can start to explore for yourself whenever you like.
And in sessions with me they are supported with a toolkit of practices rooted in things your body is born instinctively knowing how to do – breath, movement, sound, and touch, as well as foundations for personal body-based consent that most of us never got taught in sex-ed classes.
The term ‘mindful’ can be a bit misleading – it actually means thinking less, rather than more.
“When people have sexual problems, a lot of the time it’s anxiety-related and they’re not really in their bodies, or in the moment. Mindfulness brings them back into the moment. When people say they’ve had the best sex and you ask them what they were thinking about, they can’t tell you, because they weren’t thinking about anything, they were just enjoying the moment. That’s mindfulness.” Kate Moyle, Psychosexual & Couples Therapist
When it comes to mindful sex and intimacy coaching the key is finding ways to bring the focus from the mind to the body.
One way to do this is to become more aware of sensation.
Try this simple exercise now, if you want:
Want to expand your experience? Get in touch to book a free no-obligation clarity call.